Fish Food

When I was little I had two pet fish whose names altered pretty regularly. (Most common titles include: Nemo & Bob, Alex & Charlie) I used to be chief fish feeder before my dad overtook my job, and it was my task to sprinkle the fish food into the tank.

I had this job from the ages of four to five, and I usually chucked a couple of (small) handfuls of food into the water, watch the fish swim up to the top and then practically sink to the bottom again as they lay in a coat of fishy flakes; this was my idea of entertainment. After I had watched these (quite traumatic) series of events I would grab the remainings, lock myself into the toilet and eat a few of the flakes myself.

This fish food was disgusting, it was almost brown and smelt like my next door neighbour’s house. Not nice. However, when I was younger this substance really appealed to me. Yep. I used to eat fish food.

Now don’t get me wrong, I was a normal child, I was just addicted to a substance that wasn’t designed for me, or any other human. So please don’t judge me! Who am I kidding, go ahead, I judge me literally all of the time.

I was also quite a rude child growing up, reflecting on my past right now, it really embarrasses me how mean I was to others. However it wasn’t like I was disrespectful, I just don’t think I really understood the whole empathy idea; treat others how you would like to be treated etc. I think I just did it because I thought it was funny (which most of the time it was ngl)

In hindsight I have grown up a lot over the past few years, and I feel like I am nothing like I was before. Okay, maybe I am still a little bit weird, I am definitely less rude and more or less take others’ feelings into consideration. So for those who I have offended and/ or creeped out; I am sorry.

I especially sincerely apologise to Nemo/Bob/Alex/Charlie for stealing your food and over feeding you, as well as Mum and Dad for making you spend more money for new fish food pots that I was secretly devouring in my free time.

So do you have any embarrassing stories? Please tell me yours is worse than mine!

Best wishes,



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