Fake Boyfriend

As it is Valentine’s Day today I have decided to share another story that will once again embarrass me. Fantastic.

So the 14th of February was a much bigger celebration for me when I was younger; I suppose there was an actual chance that someone might buy me flowers. (no one actually did/does) Well here’s to another depressing year! Hurrah!

It was the 12th February and I must have been about twelve when a bunch of my friends and I were talking about the possibility that a guy will magically fall in love with us in time for Valentine’s Day. (Some things never change) Obviously the chances are very slim, and even smaller since we were talking about our year 7 selves; but this didn’t stop us talking about different scenarios that would involve us meeting that man of our dreams in two days. These ideas were a bit rubbish seeing as they are a) not possible the time scale and b) we knew no members of the opposite sex. However, I had an idea to rival everyone else’s. I made up my own boyfriend.

I went home and was (quite clearly) very bored, so I decided to create my very own boyfriend. I retrieved pictures off the Internet, made up this whole story and decided to run with it; it was probably the most creative thing that I have ever done.

I came into school on the 14th and showed everyone pictures of my new boyfriend “Jack”. (I had an unhealthy obsession with Jack Whitehall at the time and so I decided to base my DIY boyfriend’s name on him)

Unbeknownst to my friends the pictures that were of “Jack” were some photographs that I dug up on google images. Oh, by the way, I only had two pictures because matching them up was a bloody nightmare! It took me at least half an hour to find boys that had the same hair and skin colours, let alone age!

And then for my story. “Jack” was a boy I had met from London, and our fathers knew each other from work. He had just broken up with his girlfriend of two months (commitment goals) and decided he wanted to go out with me because he always felt like we had a connection. So he texted me and asked if I single, of course I said yes (because when will the answer ever be no). I stopped my story there because I couldn’t be bothered to make up anything else. #WhatALiar

When I showed everyone at school a few of my friends sort of looked at me as though they were confused, even shocked. I even heard one say, “Oh my God. If Sofia has a boyfriend, why can’t I?” How nice. So everything was going well until someone brought up the flaw in my story. The photographs.

As I said before it was an absolute nightmare to match the two photographs together, so in the end I chose random pictures of boys that kind of looked like each other, but not really. One of the pictures of “Jack” was a boy in his bed, covering his face. I was asked, “Why do you have a picture of him in bed?” I panicked, then replied, “He was ill and his mum needed a picture to show the matron at his school” Wow. Great response. This brought up a series of questions that were followed by delayed and awful responses.

Then there was another hurdle; believability.

So as it turns out no one believed me, and after I had probably wrecked any chances of making friends there was a lot of teasing both to my face and behind my back. So the lesson here is: Don’t make up your own boyfriend but if you do try to find decent pictures that look believable.

I hope that you have an awesome Valentine’s Day, I know I am going to spend the most part eating pizza and crying both internally and externally. Fun times. Also if you do have a boyfriend/girlfriend (you lucky person) I would appreciate it if you didn’t post your entire day on social media for my emotional benefit!

Best wishes,



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