Diagnoses

Resting Bitch Face Syndrome Diagnosis 

(Or sometimes called RBFS)

Symptoms are as follows;

  • Looking like you’re about to kill someone when in reality you really like the gift you just received from Auntie Beth
  • Getting asked about three “are you okay?” and four “period?” comments just by looking at someone during a conversation (obviously the latter doesn’t occur for men) (unless…)
  • The inability to look interested without looking overly enthusiastic/ patronising/ sarcastic
  • You are able make people feel awful, scared, boring, unwanted, unloved just by looking at them
  • Not being able to tell the difference between your “man, I’m going to beat the crap out of you” face and your “wow, I find you really interesting. Please tell me more about your work in accounting” face.
  • You don’t have wrinkles
  • It is pretty much the only facial expression you have
  • You could turn Medusa into stone
  • You aren’t really sure what smiling is anymore, or at least non-fake smiling
  • You have the same facial expression all of the time, unless someone tries to be funny, in which case your facial expression intensifies into this “fight me” look, which leaves the person in tears, fearing for their life.
  • You can make small children cry too

If you have just some of the above then it is with pleasure that I diagnose you with RBFS, the facial expression that lasts a lifetime.

Treatments;

– None. You are screwed.

Good luck!
Best wishes,

Sofia

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3 thoughts on “Resting Bitch Face Syndrome Diagnosis 

  1. As someone diagnosed with RBFS, I can tell you that turning Medusa into stone is like stage three of the RBFS. At that point, you just have to accept your fate.

    Liked by 1 person

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