I know what you’re thinking, “yes, finally, a blog post on how to deal with stress!” Well today is not your lucky day. I am not going to write anything on how to deal with the emotion that makes you want to rip out all of the strands of hair on your head, as I feel it will be a load of lies, seeing as I have no helpful advice to give apart from procrastinating and binge watching TV programmes on Netflix.
So here is a list of stressy dos and don’ts which will help (I hope) make sure that you don’t make others incredibly stressed, or more so than they already are.
- Don’t open people’s text messages/emails/Facebook messages/whatever-the-hell you use messages. It’s stressful and pretty awkward. I mean, why you would leave the sender paranoid, wondering why you wont reply to the “hahahaha” you just received? (okay, so not replying to “haha” texts can be justified seeing as they are so damn hard to reply to) *by the way I am so guilty of this
- When walking, do be aware of others around you. This means don’t move too slowly, too quickly and please don’t stop and start. Additionally, please don’t listen to loud music, ignore the people and cars around you, whilst crossing the road (if you don’t I guess you could have a pretty dramatic death, depending on the music that you listen to)
- Don’t constantly talk about exams, tasks and homework due the next day or that morning, regardless of the five hours that you have spent carrying them out. Do you seriously want me to reach Britney Spears’ 2007 stress level? *I swear I am this close.
- Please do finish the story that I was looking forward to hearing until you stopped and said, “Oh. Sorry. Doesn’t matter.” Excuse me, I was looking forward to hearing why everyone now hates Becky in class F; regardless of whether I was supposed to know or not. *Please don’t give me false hope.
- Don’t whisper in public- in front of someone, behind someone, as they walk past. Just don’t do it, whatever the funny story you want to pass on.
- Don’t constantly ask people what they want to do with their life. (By the way, if you ask me, I will most likely break down in tears, contemplating why I spent these last few years wasting my life by watching YouTube videos)
- Do keep your achievements to yourself- unless it comes up in a conversation or anyone asks. Don’t get me wrong, I love hearing about things others have done, but I hate hearing them over, and over again, especially when they are said in a very loud, arrogant tone. *No one really cares that you saw Harry Styles’ sister last year in a pub. No one.
- Don’t distract people when they are trying to do important work. I mean, you can, but I can’t guarantee that your head will still be attached to your body, or that you’ll have any friends.
- Do give people’s things back, and try not to (well, don’t) lose them. There is nothing more annoying than lending something to someone and waiting for about three months, that is, until they eventually decide that there is a gap in their incredibly busy schedule to give back your beloved personal belonging. The waiting is not necessarily the worst bit: it’s when you receive it, and it’s either smaller or bigger that it was originally. *Adds person to the long list of people not to lend things to
- Don’t get stressed around people, this creates an atmosphere of stress, which leads to more people getting stressed and then this causes an overload of stress, which means that all everyone can think about is stress. So if you do feel stressed I think it would be preferable to just leave the room, for the sanity of everyone else.
- Don’t post everything about your life on Facebook, especially when you are doing things that I should probably be doing right now eg. Revising, sleeping, doing exercise, passing exams, going out with friends, sleeping, having a boyfriend, getting work experience, going to a good college, getting a paid job, going to university, partying, passing your university course, sleeping, getting a promotion, getting engaged, sleeping, getting married, going travelling, getting another promotion, sleeping, having children *I think that’s it
- Do talk to me like I am my age; no patronisation, no pretending I am about seven years younger than I am. (And, for your information, I do know my twelve times table)
- Don’t be competitive. It’s not fun when a person has double standards and decides to read the rule book (back to front); enforcing silly little regulations on your side but not on their own. *If I don’t like sport, why am I being forced to actually try?
- Don’t ask stupid questions loudly. You want to know if trees are herbivores or carnivores- go on the Internet. I really don’t want to listen to your, quite frankly, ignorant comments when I could be finishing my exercise on algebraic fractions.
- Don’t breathe loudly *…
If you have a friend that stresses you out, you should probably send this to them.