Diagnoses

You’re Angry Diagnosis

Symptoms are as follows;

  • Your mum has just told you to do something
  • Microsoft word is not responding
  • You have forgotten that you have a poetry exam in four hours time
  • Your face is puffing up
  • You can feel the rush of blood to your head
  • Someone has read your text and not replied
  • You are ready to scream at someone
  • An inability to use a word other than “fine”
  • Your computer will not turn on
  • When someone asks if you are okay you get an overwhelming sensation of something, although I’m not sure what it is, probably it’s the overwhelming sendation to rip your head off. Or maybe the feeling of jumping off a cliff. (Please don’t)
  • Its that time of the month…
  • Your Resting Bitch Face is turned up to maximum
  • You have just received a lecture from your parents for no apparent reason- all you did was say that you were hungry
  • Becky asked for her hair lotion back in exchange for your man
  • Is it a full moon?

If you are in any of the situations listed above, or look like any of the descriptions stated, i have reason to believe that you are angry. Welcome to land of sarcasm, pessimism and bad attitude!

Treatments;

  • Drink some water
  • Count to 10
  • Lock yourself in your room and dont come out until you feel like everyone around you is safe
  • Hungry? Have some Snickers
  • Attempt to sort your life out
  • Avoid things that make it worse
  • Listen to music
  • Do some yoga
  • Spend loads of money

 

Best wishes,

Sofia

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