You’re Vain Diagnosis

Symptoms are as follows;

  • You are pretty, or at least you think you are
  • Every mirror is a friend, when walking past one you have to stop and make sure everything’s okay
  • You aren’t afraid of your reflection – you believe that it’s a privilege to witness such a beautiful view
  • Carly Simpson’s song – “You’re so vain” is basically a theme tune to your life
  • You can relate to Kim Kardashian (…)
  • Addicted is not a strong enough word to describe your relationship with social media and the amount of selfies you take
  • Every notification (other than your likes on Instagram) are from iCloud telling you that your storage is almost full – probably due to the heaps of pictures you take of yourself everyday
  • If you aren’t stalking that guy from your English class, your stalking your own profile. *guilty
  • You often get distracted by  your beauty, especially in between episodes on Netflix
  • Everyone has to wait for you before a night out due to the excessive amount of time you spend “getting ready”
  • Crying is for when your makeup is off – you did not spend one hour of your life  perfecting your eyeliner wing for a cute puppy to send your face into a waterside
  • You would rate yourself a solid 10/10 *who doesn’t
  • Making jokes on your good looks should become your full-time profession
  • Forget the Sun, the world revolves around you.
  • You have a go-to pose for every. Single. Picture.

Feel like you have a deep connection with more than 6 of these? Want to deny some of them but you know they are extremely accurate? You’re vain. You probably think that this blog is about you. (In a way I suppose it is)


  • Get your friends to roast you
  • Chill out a bit
  • Accept your flaws – no one’s perfect.
  • And accept that everyone has ‘off’ days
  • Google it because I have no idea what I’m talking about


Best wishes,



2 thoughts on “You’re Vain Diagnosis

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