Pre warning: this post isn’t that funny, so don’t read it if you want to be slightly amused (you have my previous articles for that).
I don’t know what spurred this post on, however, I hope that you find it mildly helpful.
How to deal with people who have changed:
- Firstly, understand that everyone changes over time and that it is normal; regardless of whether or not the change is “good” or “bad”.
- Take a step a back and figure out who the person standing in front of you is.
- Think about their life, the things they have or have not achieved.
- Talk to the person; discuss their choices and discuss their ambitions.
- Ask questions; questions that illustrate your intrigue not your nosiness.
- Stand back and go over the situation again.
- Question yourself – are you still compatible? Do you care enough to continue the friendship/ relationship regardless of differences? Why were you friends with the person to begin with?
- Try to find answers for your questions.
- Mention your doubts with the person – speak to them about this change.
- Regardless of the outcome of your talk, don’t judge them.
- Accept them for who they are; for who they have become, not what they were before.
- Acknowledge that maybe you never really knew who they were before – perhaps it was a facade; a mask.
- Understand that who they are now is someone they can’t change, or won’t change, for you.
- Having spoken to the person and agreeing that you don’t get along anymore you may well lose contact with them – this is okay.
- Make sure that you don’t ignore them forever – speak to them occasionally, once in a blue moon.
- Let go and forgive yourself for doing so.
- However, if you want to continue your relationship, remember that one person changing does not mean that you have to do so too. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not to “fit in”.
- Know that there are better things to waste your life on, don’t do it by faking friendships.
- Make sure that you are getting what you give.
- Finally, celebrate change and new beginnings; sometimes it’s what we need, not necessarily want.
Thanks for getting to the end, I know that it was a bit crap this week.