This month marks the 2 year anniversary of my adventure with the metal ornaments in my mouth, and in honour of this staggering achievement I have decided to write a blog post complaining about them. Because I can.
So without further ado, here are 15 reasons why I hate my braces:
- Food always gets stuck in the small metal bits, and the process of getting it out without looking like you’re on drugs is so difficult. So, if you are getting them, or really want them, you better have an extremely flexible tongue.
- One of the worst things about the process are the dreaded orthodontist appointments that occur every 6 weeks when you get your braces tightened. (#saveyourself) Honestly, the pain is horrendous.
- Gum is much missed. Many sad, very stuckage.
- Additionally, I can’t eat whole apples without them breaking.
- Another reason why I hate them is the fact that everyone looks at your mouth when you speak. I mean, hello, I do have eyes as well as a mouth.
- A sad, sad, problem is that having braces means that you can’t cut tape using your teeth when scissors aren’t available 😦
- You also can’t smile without being self-conscious of the train tracks glued to your teeth, or without having the trauma displayed in every family photo for the 2 years that you have them.
- On that note, I think it’s time to mention the horrible, horrible, school photos that will remain with you (and your lovely friends) forever.
- Having coloured bands make it look even more shit, and you have to keep it for at least 6 weeks. So even if you want to spruce it up, or make it more exciting, it will look crap. It will always look crap.
- You know the art of whistling that takes an average person until the age of 10 to master? Yeah, you lose that art. Which sucks.
- How do you even floss?
- The undefined date for when you can finally get them off and find out whether or not you have cavities.
- People think that you are younger than you are.
- When the braces slice the inside of your cheek and all you can taste is blood; which is enjoyable to say the least.
- The lisp smh.
Also, on a kind-of-related-but-not-really topic, I have recently found out that pineapples make my mouth bleed; it’s so upsetting.