You’re Not A Class-Clown, Just An Asshole Diagnosis

School life isn’t like how it’s depicted in the movies; the soundtrack is just internal screaming and the class-clowns are disruptive little shi…

Symptoms are as follows:

  • You are constantly rude to teachers.
  • You are constantly rude to younger students.
  • You are constantly rude to your peers.
  • Tbh you are constantly rude to everyone, it’s hard to tell when you aren’t.
  • It is for that reason why most are scared of you. Including teachers.
  • In addition to Year 7s being terrified of bumping into you in the corridor, the teachers don’t like your presence that much either. Even if you can’t see it yourself.
  • You make jokes that no one finds funny apart from you. In fact you probably think that you are absolutely hilarious; the next best comedian to come out of a grammar school in Bucks (and as most people hate grammar schools, your background won’t win you over).
  • And the god-awful jokes you don’t make are usually ignorant and/or completely insensitive.
  • You don’t care about school, meaning that you: have a complete disregard for school rules, disrupt EVERY SINGLE LESSON and end up in detention almost every day.
  • You are insecure, but take it out on others.
  • You aren’t trustworthy, and so have few close friends (#sorrynotsorry)
  • You are annoying to everyone but yourself and your friends.
  • You make fun of people who have no social life (ie me).
  • You are pretty attention seeking and have bags of confidence most people wish they have.
  • However, the most annoying thing about you is that you act stupid when in reality you are the total opposite: incredibly smart.
  • You also create a “hard” persona; acting aggressive when questioned (rightfully).

Do you relate? If so, you are probably an asshole. An annoyingly smart and time-wasting asshole.


  • Fuck off
  • Show off your intelligence rather than your ignorance
  • Refrain from general rudeness
  • Only contribute in lessons when you have something actually worthwhile to say
  • Pipe down a bit
  • Try to understand other people, and acknowledge that not everyone you call a ‘loser’ deserves that title.
  • Be nice to teachers please
  • Don’t slut shame (or any kind of shame)


I hope more people would take my advice on the last few points.


Best wishes,



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