My GCSEs officially ended three Fridays again, which explains the unexplained absence and the two month holiday that follows; during which I know many are going abroad and chilling with friends, although this cannot be said for me, as I hope to waste those precious days eating and watching films everyday (bro). Well, maybe every other day. Here are 12 reasons why..
- Unless you look like an Instagram model and have a great figure, summer is shit. Personally this time of the year is when I am most insecure; I mean who wouldn’t be when they look like a rhino in shorts. So naturally I’m not the first to adventure into the outside without a jumper or a winter jacket, let alone frolic in a bikini by the beach.
- Also, as the UK decided to get uncharacteristically hot this week, random insects emerged and settled on my skin, leaving shitty little bites everywhere; bites that aren’t going down (similar to my self-esteem).
- Having 5 weeks of GCSEs has really taken its toll on my emotional wellbeing, therefore it’s important to allow time for recovery in the form of sleep and frozen pizza, both of which can be done indoors. (btw I would usually eat pasta but after having it so often over the past month it makes me gag now)
- My face also needs to be kept away from civilisation due to the affect exams have had on it. The bags that are swallowing my eyes, as well as the new and unwelcomed arrival of spots need to be contained. So I can’t go outside and allow anyone to see me. Ever.
- TLC is important (not the band, but it’s okay if you feel that way I guess), and so catching up on TV is becoming my main way of chilling out and destroying the remaining brain cells I have left. And I don’t know about you, but watching the final season of PLL has been the single-most underwhelming experience that I have ever endured, meaning that no one should ever be able to witness the frustration I aim towards inanimate objects whilst forcing myself to watch it. The same goes for Love Island, although it’s arguably more entertaining and has a better plot in 30 episodes than 7 wasted years of PLL.
- With all of my friends being in the same year as me, meeting up with them should be a lot easier, right? Wrong. It just so happens that even though we have almost 3 months of holidaying, the majority of our time off is spent doing work experience and forcing ourselves to be busy. Thus, the free days I have don’t correlate with my friends’, and so I spend my time pretending to have fun by myself. (and for the record, Nando’s is never as much fun by yourself)
- Reluctantly, reading was put on a back burner during the exam period, and now, with the vast amount of novels I need to plough through this summer, I think I will be spending most of my time reading. I guess reading isn’t really excuse to stay indoors as it is an extremely versatile activity that can be done anywhere, however, personally, I prefer to read in the comfort of myself due to the paranoia that engulfs me whenever I read in public.
- A few weeks ago I went to my sixth form induction day, which was thrilling. It was a day of taster sessions in which I was told the same information about the new syllabus I already knew, a day of meeting the practically mute new people who probably hated me, and a day of being loaded with ‘bridging work’: a shit tonne of homework that you are expected to complete before September. So excuse me while I stay at home for a few weeks, I have to mentally prepare for A levels.
- Also, just because I now have an extended summer holiday doesn’t mean that I’m going to change my lifestyle and usual timetable (as much as my parents want me to). The holiday is my chance to do the same things that I have been doing for the past few months but without the screaming guilt and panic I used to have when I was supposed to be doing something of *greater importance. And even though I do have considerable less friends than many, I don’t think that it’s done me much harm.
- Winter is approaching. I mean, it’s not really, but I am so prepared for it to come. I am ready. My skin is of the whitest colour (a few weeks ago I was matched for foundation and apparently I’m shade 00, which doesn’t stock in stores because it’s so light; I guess that’s a realisation if ever I’ve had one), and so when paired with the glaring sun I go red af. However place me in the snow and the cold breeze I fit right in.
- Okay, but seriously now, why do people go outside into the blazing heat and complain about getting hyperthermia when you can stay inside with a broken fan and dodgy aircon that prevents overly unhygienic sweating and, in certain circumstances, death.
- For many, festivals like Glastonbury are the epitome of summer in Britain, but why go outside to a shitty field (quite literally) with overflowing toilets and a sticky flesh-on-flesh environment when you can watch the whole thing from your sofa? Exactly. Nowadays, as much as people hate, everything is on social media, so why bother going out with your friends when they can post everything on Snapchat and make you feel incredibly upset and excluded? (another) Exactly.
Is this enough to allow me to stay indoors, Mum?
I hope you enjoyed this blog post. I am sorry that it’s been a couple of months.